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Here is a story I wrote. The main character is ME! What do you think of my story? How could I improve it?
Two girls were playing swingball. They hit the ball backwards and forwards and round and round. Then someone else had a turn. They hit the ball hard. Then it was time to finish the game and go.
The people playing swingball didn’t know someone else was watching them. It was a small animal. The animal saw the people go back inside. It wanted to play swingball too. It went over to the swingball. It looked at the pole which looked very tall because it was a small animal.
Suddenly it jumped up the pole. But the ball swung around, hit its backside and its legs flew up in the air. The string holding the ball got tangled around one of its legs. The string pulled tighter and tighter and hurt its leg.
“Help me! Help me!” screamed the animal.
But the children couldn’t hear the animal because they had gone.
“Oh please somebody, HELP ME!” cried the animal.
“Hey. I’ll get the swingball set,” said a voice. “Someone forgot to put it away.”
The animal looked around and saw a boy coming towards it.
“Hey look at what is caught in the swingball!” said the boy to his friend.
The boys went over and untangled the string. The animal was a bit sore but very glad to be rescued. The boys took the animal to a lady and she treated the cuts on its leg. Then the animal rested until it was better.
Article posted July 18, 2007 at 11:54 PM •
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About the Blogger
I am the smallest member of the Livewires class. I like cheese, watching the Livewires learn and playing with Marty.