Super Mario Bros., The Movie Review Part 1
Ahh… the Duper Mario Bros! Successful video game series to 3d video games! They even came up with a movie for it that does not follow the story at all. Bob Hoskins is Mario, which only makes sense. He's fat, and he’s got a mustache. And luigi is played by some Japanese kid. But where is his mustache? When Nintendo said Luigi was Mario’s younger brother, they did not mean he was 40 years younger! Well, Luigi is out in town doing something, and Daisy walks up. And Luigi gives her the pay phone. How sweet! Then they go on a date. And I guess Luigi wanted to take their relationship to the next level, so he took her to his work: the sewers. Smooth move, Luigi! While exploring the sewers, someone captures Daisy and goes off to the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario and Luigi end up in the Mushroom Kingdom, but how do they get there? Well, in any Mario game, they would just go down a pipe. But of course, something more realistic happens. They fall through a magic wall. I am not kidding when I say this. Then they get to the Mushroom Kingdom, which looks nothing like the games. Imagine a field full of white fluffy bunnies. You have got the game's Mushroom Kingdom. Now, imagine a place where something is always on fire and everyone is poor. You have got the movie's Mushroom Kingdom. Then Mario and Luigi are arrested and brought to Bowser. I bet you are thinking, "Oh, I can’t wait 'till he breathes fire!" But guess what? Bowser is a human! Think of a giant fire breathing turtle. Now, think of a human with a bad haircut. There you have Bowser. Then Bowser uses some devolution thingy on a Koopa. Guess what it turned him into? A Goomba! How in the name of h-- would Bob Hoskins be able to jump on that thing? Then Mario and Luigi escape and have a car chase. Yeah, remember all those games where Mario and Luigi were the ones on the run from the cops, but not Wario and Waluigi?!
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