April Free Write
Imagine being flung into a darkened pool against your will, knowing full well you cannot swim, while being surrounded by a darkness that gives off only a slight eeie greenish glow, while a respectable sie piece of lead is tightly positioned upon your feet. The drowning, downing into delicate lungs that are dangling for one last defiant, delightful gasp of air. A feeling one is not accustomed to. Certainly not I. Perhaps a time long but not so long ago, their as a man by the name of Poe who embraced the macabre dread he so artfully mastered. Perhaps he felt nothing more but the abominable emotion. All it did was eat away at his true nightmarish horrors until it grew into something greater and more deadly, a newly formed species of parasites feeling the wanderlust that ails so many complex minded individuals, until it could only grasp at what it could. His reality. Perhaps it was so great, the torment of his reality with so many loved ones being consumed with consumption it crippled him, or perhaps he took it as a sign from the cruel heavens up above to wield a quill that came from his garments and exclaim with dignity you would think one with his life would not have, ‘Enough!’ and conquer his demons that dug down deep with a flourish of his weapon, tearing down all blocks from these monstrous emotions and relieving them some from his own mind while releasing them on into the world.
This blog in particular, was not suppose to have any real meaning, or substance about it at all. However, now that I’m in a rather peculiar mood, I feel it right to write a peculiar blog, for fun, and for practice for myself. Practicing what? you may ask. The fun of this for me is not to tell you. We’ll make a guessing game of it I suppose.
We have all felt the drowning sensation, but sensation isn’t really the correct term for it, nor is it a rush. If I would to choose a single word for it, it would be a vibe, for you can feel it course throughout your entire body as it were reverberating throughout the core of what makes your feelings rational and threatens to overthrow it. For over a year and half now, with my weakened lungs, there has been treading with great effort in the inky pool. I do not drown, but I do struggle. I am not sad, quite the contrary. However, I’m completely and utterly dissatisfied. Not from being in the state that the pool brings me into being, being in this state actually leads to much opportunity and promise for an individual such as myself and it would be ungrateful to think of it any other way. No, it is the green eerie light that taunts my conscious and unconscious so viciously. In an impossible way, it shows nothing but tells all. There are things behind the darkness or that lurk in the black forces that encompass you, the green light makes you feel the vastness of it all, but it’s the position that I’m currently in just shows a block of black, that beckons but wants to be rid of me. That’s actually the alluring thing about it though.
Though my objective was to befuddle you and create a slight air of mystery, there was an actual point behind all of this wrapped within layers and layers of riddles and metaphor. The emotion itself that I’m talking about should not be a challenge at all to guess, but what I’m trying to get at with it, that’s the real challenge to uncover.