Owain -- Blogmeister

When I was deep below sea level, an icy-cold breeze past over my vulnerable body: I shivered with fear. Suddenly an unknown object demandingly grabbed my leg and before I knew it, I was dragged into an underwater cavern.

It was Saturday morning, time to go diving. “Have we got everything?” I shouted,
“Got everything” shouted my younger sister, Lucy,
“Right then let’s go” answered our dad, Steve. Just outside, the scorching sun shone over the shaded Earth. As me and Lucy jumped into our dad’s shining yellow Lamborghini – complete with leather seats, built-in radio system and upgraded spoiler – our dad hit the “start ignition”. The car suddenly shuddered into life

After driving for 45 minutes Lucy was asleep until suddenly. “At last we’re there” I bellowed, waking Lucy up in a flash. “Who, What, When, Where, How” Lucy stuttered after I suddenly woke her up.
“We’re at the docks” our dad replied as Lucy noticed the glimmering water and newly painted boats. As we pulled up in the car park, I noticed our boat. “The Water King” it read on the side of the sparkling boat as we walked up to the wooden plank leading on to the deck. After getting all the equipment out of the car and on to the boat, we set of into the horizon

When we were so far from land that I couldn’t see it, the other boats looked like ants. I got my diving equipment on and before I knew it, I was ready to go diving. “I’m ready to go down” I announced, “All right then, wait for my signal” acknowledged my dad. As I waited for my dad’s hand signal, a sinister laugh caught my attention, I glanced around but nothing caught my eye: I shivered with fright.

Two years had past and I had given up dreaming about having wings but on that night something felt different, I felt something pop up out of my back. I felt like screaming as the mysterious objects kept on pushing out of my helpless body!!! Moments later the killing objects were out but they were attached to me. As i looked around, I saw a pair of shiny, silver wings flapping on my body!

Honesty: Without honesty the world would be disgusting. If people are never honest no one will trust no one, therefore people will start resenting each other. Also if honesty wasn’t in this world, everything will be finder’s keepers which will just be horrible. So we need honesty in our world to keep us fair and trustworthy.
Responsibility: If we didn’t have responsibility, the world would lie all the time and wouldn’t own up to it. Someone would steal computers and plasma screen T.Vs and would say “it wasn’t me” and they would believe them. If someone killed a living human being, they would say “it wasn’t me” and they would believe them. So now you see why we need responsibility in our world.
Caring: If we didn’t have caring in the world, there would be wars going on. There would be giant bush fires everywhere and the fire department wouldn’t care because there would be no caring in the world. No one would want to work or cook in the food halls because they wouldn’t care for the people. Nobody would care for the animals and would catch under size fish or would kill our native birds. We would have no people for the hospitals when someone is dying.
Perseverance: Perseverance is a very important thing. Without perseverance in the world there will be hardly anything. No books, no phones, no computers and no cars, because the people who invented all these things didn’t just get it right off the spot, they tried and tried but without perseverance they would of just said ‘Too hard’ then gave up. Our sporting heroes the All Blacks, All Whites, and the Silver Ferns wouldn’t be bothered playing so they’ll just give up. So we need to push ourselves harder in every aspect in our lives.
Respect: We need respect because if we didn’t, everyone would hate and kill each other. If someone swore at a teacher, the teacher would swear back. If an adult stabbed someone else in the back, no one would go and tell the police but would kill the person who killed the other person. If a person raided a shop and threatened the shop keeper, the shop keeper wouldn’t call the police, they would threaten the raider. So now you see why we need respect in the world.

Humans torture poor, innocent animals into doing humiliating acts and put their lives at risk to do inappropiate stunts, just to get into a book! In the guinness book of world records and the Ripley's belive it or not, animals get exploited by humans because the are made to do appalling acts like: A squirell forced to ice skate, a dog commanded to sky dive and a dog ordered to hold five tennis balls in it's poor, mouth. I can't even hold one in my mouth! It is despicable and disgraceful - no one should do that. What sort of person would harm animals just to get into a stupid, unnecessary book? I don;t know, but I know one thing, it isn't the best thing in the world and it should be bannned. So I hope you agree with that this is uneceptable and should be against the law!!

When they were splashing around, they saw something rising stedily to the surface of the waters. "Whats that?" whispered John - no one expected it to be John's brother. "AGGHHHHHHH" bellowed Andrew "RUN" as he hightailed it out of the pool and dissappeared out of site. John was shivering with fear as the solid, stone-cold body, floating in the darkened waters of the pool. While John was staring at the misfortunate body, he thought he knew the person but couldn't quite make out who it was, but then he knew who it was, it was his BROTHER........

Persuasive Paragraph
I think we shouldn’t have an internet password. One of the reasons why is that if someone accidentally quits from the internet, the children won’t have to hassle the flat-out teacher to come and type in the internet password so the teacher doesn’t have to leave her group: leaving them unable to complete their work. Have you ever had you ever had to run forwards and backwards daily to type in an unnecessary internet password? No, but if we didn’t have one, it would save time for the hard working teachers –and they would have more time to educate their group. Teachers get frustrated because the password is a mix of characters and numbers which is hard to remember particularly if they are entering it into 6 computers. All in all, I hope you agree with me when I say we shouldn’t have an internet password.

Good Things: I can use a range of emotive words, I can ask questions to get the reader thinking and use words that match my topic.

Inprovments: I think I could of used more facts and opinions to back up my paragraph and my title sentence could of been more persuasive.

Do you think your school’s caretaker is the best? Well you’re wrong. Gary is Da bomb. Is your school damaged or unrepaired? Well we have Gary so our school is always in tip-top condition. He is the best caretaker in Rotorua. Here are some reasons why...
Gary, the best caretaker in Rotorua, can build anything. He’s so good; he should work for master builder because he is that amazing! Our caretaker Gary is in his workshop preparing bits for the walls in the gym where mischievous kids have hit it with footballs, basketballs and tennis balls. He also repairs the walls in the hall where props have dented the walls. Have you ever had to help supervise building a gigantic swimming pool shelter and changing rooms? Thought not but the extraordinary Gary has. Day in, day out Gary is working non-stop, building with NO break. So is Gary the best caretaker? I think he is.
Gary is an extraordinary non-stop cleaning machine. Have you ever had to clean up a putrid vomit splat? It makes me want to vomit as well but who comes to the rescue, Gary does. Have you ever had to clean up someone’s nasty business? No but the poor, unfortunate Gary has to come around and do it. Have you ever had to clean unnecessary graffiti off the walls around school? And guess who comes and cleans it off? You guessed it, Gary. So is it spider man swinging in, or is it the Incredible Hulk doing the dirty work? No it is super Gary flying in!
Even though Gary is a caretaker, he also helps do bits which aren’t even in his job description. For years, Gary has not only just done what normal caretakers do but goes beyond this. He has helped rugby boys train for interschool matches. Have you ever done that? Thought not, and have you ever given talks to kids about fishing? No but the spectacular Gary has. Have you ever helped teachers with DIY at their houses? No, and guess who has? GARY!!! So I think Gary is the best, well... he is.
So there you go, that is why our school caretaker is the best. We are privileged to have Gary, the best caretaker IN THE UNIVERSE!!!