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For years grownups have made kids follow rules that frankly I feel are unnecessary. I never understood the reasons they gave for following the rules, but I followed them anyway to keep from getting in trouble. I have recently discovered that the reasons I were told aren’t true. Grownups have been keeping the real reasons for their rules a secret, and now the truth is out.
Here’s rule number 65 eat your vegetables. Well your parents say they’re good for you but the real reason is if you don’t eat them they will eat you. It started when your ancestors were alive big broccoli ruled the land, saber tooth corn roamed the land tyrannosaurs spinach. So if you don’t eat your vegetables they will eat you so eat vegetables.
Rule 3 don’t pick your nose. Your parents say its gross and disgusting well it is but the truth is if you pick your nose your head gets 2 times bigger, you see when you pick your nose your brain swells up and gets bigger but there is one solution, sleep on your head. So don’t pick your nose.
Rule number 11 don’t eat to much ice cream, well your parents say you will get a brain freeze but the real reason is your brain will crawl out your ears. You see there’s a place in your brain that gets warm and a place that likes cold so when you eat to much ice cream it stores it in that warm spot so your brain crawls out your ears. But there is one solution find your brains and lick them. So only 2 ice cream cones per day.
Rule 93 don’t play rated M games. Well your parents say they’re bad for you but the real reason is you will be sucked into the game. There is a 56% chance you will survive but there is one solution, saying you like Elmo and marry Barny. So have a nice wedding.
In conclusion find the truth or will never know the real reason.
Article posted March 10, 2010 at 12:36 PM •
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