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Title: Revision/Editing Help Wanted! (01/12/09)
Description: Looking for feedback on your writing? Want help proofreading for errors? Submit your writing here and look for comments!

Article posted February 6, 2009 at 04:32 AM GMT0 • comment • Reads 1624


    Every day, Jacob would sit in his chair and stare out into the wilderness, listening to all the  cracking and pounding sounds coming from the woods. For hours he would daydream about becoming the first human to venture into the woods and come out alive.

    For many years, Jacob lived in the same house, following the same dull routine every day. One day he realized he could live his dream:  to become famous and have people bow down to him every hour on the clock. He had finally found the determination to begin his adventure and marched sternly out the front door.

    He was a little dizzy as he walked toward the woods.  He hadn't been outside since his mother died.  As he reached the woods, some of his determination had dwindled. He was about to take his first step into the woods, but hesitated for a second to gather his courage, and continued on.  One hour into the trip he felt like he had been hiking for days. 

    Suddenly, he heard pounding sounds which made him sprint behind a 40-foot-tall yew tree.  He was so scared he could barley move.  He carefully peered around the tree to look at the objects creating these noises.

    He was now looking at eight gigantic trees.  He thought it would be best to just stay put until they left.  Suddenly, he heard a sound coming from right behind him, but pretended not to hear it.  As he leaned back against the the tree, he slipped and fell on his butt with a loud thump. The littlest tree heard the noise and stomped toward him.  

     "What do you think you're doing in these woods?" the tree bellowed, "you could get killed! These trees are not friendly to people anymore."   

    "Anymore? What do you mean by anymore?" Jacob questioned. 

    "Well..." the trees voice trailed off, "come follow me and I will find a safe spot for us to hide." 

    "Okay," whispered Jacob as he followed the tree.  The tree finally stopped and said, "here, this is a safe spot to talk."

    Jacob blurted out, "what made the  trees and people hate each other?" 

    "Well," he began, "a long time ago, when people lived in caves, we had peace.  Then, a tree did something so horrible that the great gods decided to punish all the trees."

    "What did he do?" Jacob interrupted.

    "I was getting to the point.  And don't interrupt, it's rude."

    "Sorry," Jacob apologized. 

    "Well then, back to the story.  The way they punished the trees was by improving the peoples knowledge in building." 

    "What harm would that do?" Jacob interrupted again.

     "No interrupting, and this is your last warning!" the tree yelled. 

    "Okay," Jacob said, sounding really scared.

    "The gods punished the trees by giving humans the idea to make houses out of wood.  The humans kept cutting and cutting until one of the elders could no longer take the punishment. He organized an army of trees that attacked and captured some of the people to let them rot.  And that's the last we heard of them."

    Jacob shook his head in disbelief.  "That's an incredible story," he said to the tree, "but right now I need some food . . . do you have any?"

    "Oh yes, we have tons of people food, but it's at our main base.  We could get it,  but I would have to tell them about you.  Is that okay with you?"

    "Yeah, that's fine.  But hurry, I feel like I'm going to starve to death" Jacob replied.

    "Well then, we better hurry, it will be a long trip back" the tree said as it stomped away.

    When they arrived at the main base, the trees formed a perfect circle around Jacob.  The biggest tree stepped forward and shouted, "who is responsible for this human in our camp?"

    "I am!" the little tree replied strongly.  "He understands our ways and the hard times we've been through. He reminds me of the cave men and he may be of good use"

    "What could a scrawny little person like him do?" a massive tree asked rudely

    "Well, he could give us directions to send a raiding party in."

    "I like your thinking" the huge tree replied.  In the middle of the conversation jacob tiptoed over to the little tree and asked "do you trees have names?"

    "Yes, but we don't like using them much," the tree whispered back.

     "Well then, what is your name?" Jacob asked.

     "Mine's Jake," the little tree said. 

    "Cool.  What are all the other trees names?"

     "Now's not the time, okay?"

     "Fine," Jacob said.

    After much discussion the trees changed their position. They spread apart from the circle they had been in, and the most massive tree of all announced, "our final conclusion is that we would be honored to adopt you into our lives,  but you will have to adapt to our ways.  Do you accept?"

    "I would be honored."

    "Very well, you may go back to your house and prepare for your future with us."

    "Okay, I will do that" Jacob replied to the master tree.

     "Well, hurry off" he commanded.


By Michael Lindberg



Article posted February 6, 2009 at 04:32 AM GMT0 • comment • Reads 1624

Article posted January 27, 2009 at 08:33 PM GMT0 • comment • Reads 289

The Bail-out

In the dark and damp jail cell Klutz was planning a daring escape… He soon put it into action; he bonked a sleeping guard on the head to wake him up and asked, “Can you let me out??? Pleeeeaaaase?!?” “No.” well that put an end to Klutz’s daring plan, although he did have one last resource… “I summon my super strength!!!” he yelled and started to try to pry the bars of the cell out and was still in that position 20 minutes later when clumsy came in. “What are you doing here?” asked Klutz, climbing down off the cell bars “I came to bail you out!!!” “How much do you have?” asked the guard “Uhhh two paper clips, a gum wrapper with the chewed gum in it, and my house keys.” “I’ll take the paper clips and the house keys.” Said the guard.

Two minutes later Klutz & Clumsy were walking towards Clumsy’s house while klutz was saying, “We must get revenge on the guy!!!” “Yeah” said Clumsy “We can use my DNA tracker to find him!” he said this as he held up one of the robbers hairs. When they got home clumsy looked around for his keys when he realized his fatal mistake… “I traded my keys to bail you out!!!” “Oh man, we can’t get revenge!!!” said Klutz.

The End

What will happen to Klutz & Clumsy?

Find out in Klutz & Clumsy, The Hobos.

Article posted January 27, 2009 at 08:33 PM GMT0 • comment • Reads 289

Article posted January 27, 2009 at 05:51 PM GMT0 • comment • Reads 298

Every night

Before the stars come out

I watch the sky

Pulling taut on the sun

I watch the hills

Layering black to lilac

I watch the bay

Smoothing out like frosting on a birthday cake

I watch the clouds

Drifting in, light gray tufts

I watch my world

Saying goodnight

Article posted January 27, 2009 at 05:51 PM GMT0 • comment • Reads 298

Article posted January 16, 2009 at 10:54 PM GMT0 • comment (1) • Reads 205

Once in the time of man there was a little rich boy who was 9 years old and was named Enchilada. One day little Enchilada went out into the snow and made a snowman he used Rubies for eyes, Zircon for the nose, and Amethysts for the mouth but then he put on the finishing touches a black cape like cloak that he found in the attic, well and he put a dead bat in the middle of the snowman that he also found in the attic. After he was done building the snowman he inside for some cocoa and hot soup. After his soup and cocoa Enchilada zipped up and went back outside to play, he played army, Jurassic park, and pokemon for hours finely bedtime so little Enchilada went inside to get in bed, after Enchilada went to bed the snowman swore vengeance on Enchilada for stop playing with him.

Three hours later

Outside its pitch black and snowing with a full moon and just then while little Enchilada laying in bed the snowman is turning into an evil demented vampire snowman (the snowman probably turned into a vampire because of the cape and the bat). The snowman walked toward the house and climbed the wall and went through the window into Enchilada’s room, suddenly Enchilada heard a noise and looked up just in time to see the snowman’s ruby eyes glow and it was trying to bite him then he remembered the family airlume which is the Magic Taco and how it had magic powers, so he jumped out of bed and ran down stairs into the kitchen were the Magic Taco was hung, once he got the taco he walked bravely toward the snowman, he could feel the coldness of the snowman getting closer, once they saw each other it was Taco verses Vampire the snowman nearly bite Enchilada but Enchilada’s tacos powers melted the snowman and he was victorious.


Article posted January 16, 2009 at 10:54 PM GMT0 • comment (1) • Reads 205

Article posted January 16, 2009 at 08:12 PM GMT0 • comment (1) • Reads 306

My Creepy Winter Story

Snow, snow, snow! Oh how I love snow! Snow reminds me of the time my friends Austin, Jacob and I; made our way to the top of Ice Ice Baby Mountain to find a rumor called The Worlds Best Ice Cream (It’s good even when it’s cold.)

And here’s what happened. Pay attention; because I’m only gonna say it once.

Finally, Winter vacation came! I was having both Ozz (Austin) and Jacob over to my house, when Jacob tripped on a bug. Ozz and I laughed until we keeled over rolling in the dirt. Jacob got up and started chasing us around the field. When he was done trying to throw us in an oven, we got on the bus that would take us to my house.

When we got to my house, we went to my room. We had heard rumors at school about the Worlds best Ice cream at the top of Ice Ice Baby Mountain. We decided to see if the rumors were true. We set off, leaving a note telling my parents saying we would be back for dinner. I also said to give Sophie (my dog) a hug from me. Then we loaded up on our weapons. I took my wooden table leg, Ozz took a hammer and Jacob took some air freshener. Plus, each of us took a flamethrower. (I had no idea where those had come from, really!) Then we set off.

We took a cab to the bottom of Ice Ice Baby Mountain when we got off, Jacob tripped on a bug. Oh I love that! I’ll say it again. Then Jacob tripped on a bug. Okay, okay, no more, no more. We started to hike up the mountain. We came upon a sign that said, “INTRUDERS WILL B EATEN.”

“Good thing we’re not intruders!” Ozz said. Then we hiked up some more. But then, right in front of us, erupted from the ground, a dozen killer snowmen holding forks and knives with napkins! We guessed that they weren’t part of the welcoming committee. We instantly held up our flamethrowers and blasted them with flames so hot; they would’ve melted into a puddle of goo. But instead the snowmen stood unfazed by the flames. Their eyes glowed with hate.

“Ohhh, we’re in trouble now,” I said.

“No we’re not!” Ozz said. He whipped out his hammer and lunged at the snowmen. I pulled out my wooden stick and began whacking the snowmen like there was no tomorrow! Jay (Jacob) just stood there like a dead fish. Nothing seemed to work against the snowmen. Then Jay whipped out his air freshener and began spritzing them with super cool air. Surprisingly, the snowmen began wailing in agony. The air freshener had begun to melt Frosty’s alter ego brethren. Soon the snowmen had been reduced to a puddle. All that was carrots, rocks, plus forks, knives with wet napkins. Jay smiled mischievously.

“You should start listening to me more,” Jay told us proudly. He walked a little more up the hill, only to trip on a bug. Ozz and I looked at each other.

“Yeahhh… no.” Ozz said.

We walked more and more up the mountain. Soon, we could see the top.

“Yes!” I said. “We’re almost there!” We broke out into a sprint. We could see the Ice cream. But just as it seemed like we were so close, the ground erupted sending us flying backward. L. Out of the hole that had erupted, crawled out an enormous 15 foot tall Abominal Snowman! It charged us. We quickly scattered.

“Hey ugly!” Ozz yelled. Your mama is twice as ugly as you are today!” The colossal giant turned toward Ozz and roared at him.

“NOBODY INSULTS MY MOTHER!” The giant roared. It charged us again. Jay ran toward it holding his air freshener. But evidently, Jay tripped on a bug. The giant must’ve been taken by surprise, because it didn’t stop in time. The giant tripped over Jay and tumbled over the side of the cliff and rolled into an enormous snowball that tumbled to the bottom of the mountain before the snowball broke. We sat there in the snow, mouth agape.

“What the heck happened?” I said.

“Forget what happened; let’s just get the ice cream.” Ozz said. We scrambled to get it. We each scooped some up. Jay pulled out some cones. We put the ice cream on our cones. We said our “Thank you dear God” prayers. Then we each took a bite. It was the most sweetest thing I have ever tasted. (And that’s saying a lot.) We ate some more. We ate so much that we were rolling on the ground because of brain freeze. Then we headed home.

Well I still miss the taste the taste of the Ice cream. But you know what they say, “Tis better to have loved and lost then better to not love at all!


Note: No snowmen were actually harmed in the making of this film!

Article posted January 16, 2009 at 08:12 PM GMT0 • comment (1) • Reads 306

Article posted January 16, 2009 at 08:02 PM GMT0 • comment • Reads 256

What can be tall, or short, skinny or fat, is sometimes decorated, and can only be found in the winter…

It was a good nine feet tall, fat; it had nice big wings, two extended arms drooping, and a huge pointy beak. It also had two eyes that could give you a stony glare, one that when you see it, it feels like your disappearing… then you recall your existence and look on. That’s what his stare is like and when you see his glare once you will never want to see it again!

We were walking back to my house, as the snow was slowly melting, and feeling sad, but happy too. Sad because all that snow was melting but happy because of all the memories, the white Christmas, the presents, the happiness, the skiing, the sledding, the ecstatic feeling in the air. If my memory is correct than I believe we had 17 days with snow on the ground. That is one good memory.

We walked in the door and realized that all the snow was melting and we hadn’t made a snowman yet! We called Alex’s older brother Eric and he was over in a flash. We started building and then just kept at until we realized how big it was and stopped. Eric and Alex ran back to their house and grabbed some bamboo and we cut them to make to big wings and two skinny arms. Then we found some pitch-black stones and used them as the eyes. We made a freakishly large head and I found a piece of snow that was a nice beaklike shape and that gave me the idea to stick it on as a beak. It looked great and we kept, it all we had to do was reinforce it.

It was so big that if you wanted to touch the top you would have to stand on someone else. (Unless you were as tall as like Yao Ming). We of course had to take some souvenir photos, make sure he was reinforced and packed hard enough to live for a while.

So here’s a tip, pay attention when you’re making a snowman so you don’t make it so tall that your freakishly large head will take like an hour just to put it on right and lets hope your paying attention enough to realize that after an hour taken up putting your head on at least unlike us you hopefully will put your head on straight.

Article posted January 16, 2009 at 08:02 PM GMT0 • comment • Reads 256

Article posted January 16, 2009 at 07:59 PM GMT0 • comment (2) • Reads 318

What can be tall, or short, skinny or fat, is sometimes decorated, and can only be found in the winter…

…….. ……. ……. ……. “Hello this is Alex;” “hi this is Ethan do you want to go sledding at the park?” “: Sure.” “Then once were done sledding we can come back and have some hot chocolate at my house.” “Kay” “meet me at my house, Bye”.

“Hey Alex how’s it going? Witch sled should we bring, the huge purple one or the smaller black one?” “Purple” “yah” I agree as I grab the rope and start polling. As we were arriving at the park we noticed that the chute that leads into the park is actually fully covered with snow. We walk up to the top and Alex likes going in front when we sled so I said he could go in front if he wanted and I told him he could also borrow my goggles if he wanted. He got in front and I gave him my goggles. I look over at Alex and he’s strapping the goggles on right below his Santa hat that he sleds in. I compliment him on his new looks and we get ready to go!

We start tilting and then were off. It felt like we were going so fast as like we were just shot out of something. As we were nearing the bottom of the chute Alex and I realize that someone built a huge jump at the bottom. As we realize that we might just get thrown off are sled and land in a pile of snow we quickly grab the handles and as we were in mid-air it just felt sort of like slow motion and then we hit the ground and I look at Alex, his cheeks are bright red and his entire body has at least two inches of snow on it. That was our surprise jump; I get up like nothing happened, but when I look at Alex he’s hardly able to move. He got up and looked like a human snowball. So here’s a tip, check for jumps before you go down in a huge sled. Easier said than done.

Article posted January 16, 2009 at 07:59 PM GMT0 • comment (2) • Reads 318

Article posted January 15, 2009 at 11:06 PM GMT0 • comment (1) • Reads 206

Winter comfort foods

[If you are a vegetarian do not read this!]

I shall now list three of many winter comfort foods with excruciating details and some commentary. First food is roast beef doesn’t sound as tasty as it is so I will make it sound better! The first food is very, very slow roasted beef covered in gravy that was made with garlic and chicken broth with other special ingredients! The roast also has baby red potatoes smothered in gravy. Think that sounds delicious wait till you read the next two!

Well the second food is oven roasted honey covered ham with a side dish of cesar salad with home made salad dressing! Ok now I don’t know any omnivore who could refuse that. The third dish some omnivores may not prefer, but I really like this one! It is the one and only roasted turkey with cloves and gravy made with the juice of the bird! The side dishes are baby red potatoes and cesar salad! Now you know my three favorite winter comfort foods.


Article posted January 15, 2009 at 11:06 PM GMT0 • comment (1) • Reads 206

Article posted January 15, 2009 at 10:33 PM GMT0 • comment • Reads 192


Once upon a time in a place not so far away there was a rare white lion named Kimba he was the

Alfa lion of his pack. In a frozen cloud surrounded by other frozen clouds filled with snow in them hovered 3,127 feet above Africa over the kimba’s lion pack .As the clouds were over the lion pack three 25 gage shotguns shot the clouds and it started to snow. As the snow fell a magic snowflake fell into Kimbas moth and turned him into the Alfa snow lion. “I’m made of snow!”. “But how” .Hi I’m David Beckom.”What the”. Is this your cub? Yes. Thanks for the cub yo.”Hay give back my cub Beckom. Your safe now cub. Whirs that guy? In the air. See. I’ll be back! I have supper powers. Cool. I have supper speed and strength. I’m backto kill you kimba. This time I brought Michael Jackson and Tom Petty from the band Petty and the heart breakers. BRING IT ON! Supper villains go. Supper soccer feet, supper no gravity feet go, supper Petty powers. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

And don’t come back David. I swear I will keep this pack safe.

Article posted January 15, 2009 at 10:33 PM GMT0 • comment • Reads 192

Article posted January 15, 2009 at 10:17 PM GMT0 • comment (2) • Reads 1022

How my winter begins is on Dec, 24, 08. I had just woke up and I told my dad that I am going to try not to get to excited today because if I get to excited I can’t sleep.. So I am never getting excited, I said. The reason I am saying this is had just woke up and I told my dad, I am going to try not to be so excited today because when I get excited I can’t sleep because in 07 and 08 I stayed up until six forty a.m. Now Sydney it’s time to go to bed, my mom said. When I heard that, I said to myself, GREAT! Time to go to bed! So I was able to go to bed for two hours, but I woke up one a.m.

My dad and I made a bet were I could only see my presents at six forty a.m. Then it finally came to be six forty a.m. and I was so excited because I finally got to get my presents. I had a wonderful time.


Article posted January 15, 2009 at 10:17 PM GMT0 • comment (2) • Reads 1022

Article posted January 15, 2009 at 10:08 PM GMT0 • comment (1) • Reads 257

You have never felt pain until you do what I had to do on 12/6/08, unless you have gone to boot camp or the army which I doubt a 5th grader has gone to.

On Saturday, I woke up at 6:00 am and began my warm stretches. Then, at 8:00 I went on the treadmill and I ran a mile in 6 min and 37 sec, then, I did 2 sets of 25 and 100 sit ups straight.

Then, we went to Lake Padden. We were the first ones there, so I stretched some more because it was 31 degrees and I didn’t want to get a cramp. Then, Kyle showed up, I’ll tell you about him later in the story. Then, my sifu came, sifu means father in karate. He brought his two sons Donty and Eric and another person named Felipa who was testing for his black belt too, I’ll tell you about them in the story too.

Then, we started to run. I was In front but unfortunately I was running to fast and I lost my breath and fell back to last. But luckily couch George rode up to me on his bike and told me a story that I will tell you later. Right about the end, I started to think about mt.school and remembering what they said, “always stop and look at the scenery” The scenery was great, but I couldn’t stop now. I was almost done. Then at the final stretch, I ran so hard it felt like angels were pushing me forward and then, I passed the finish line and I ran Lake Padden in 25 min.

Now all those people I told you about, now I’m going tell you about them, starting with Kyle. Kyle ran the lake in 24 min. And he has long dark red curls. He also has an older brother named Justin that well test for his black belt in six months.

Now I’ll tell about you about Felipa. He is fairly and lien. He ran the lake in 23 min. when we ran I could always know where he was because of his white T-shirt.

Now I’ll tell you the story that couch Gorge told me. So when we were going around the lake I ask him “have you ever gone around this lake before?” and he answered “only once, when I was your age (10) I was walking around the lake and I accidentally waked on to a horse trail and I got lost, but luckily I got home before dark.”

The next part was the most challenging part of the test, the warm ups, I know it does not sound hard but it was very hard for every –one. First it started out easy but of course as all starts easy but progress to get harder. When sifu got back from getting food I was sweating and breathing hard.

The rest is to secret for me to tell you so I guess this is good by

Article posted January 15, 2009 at 10:08 PM GMT0 • comment (1) • Reads 257

Article posted January 14, 2009 at 07:35 PM GMT0 • comment • Reads 313

This is a the begining of a story By Ak and Kd.



    One fine March day two tigers were born to a dwindling species, and their mother Janalaa was lucky that they were so healthy.

As I opened my eyes for the first time I saw a world full of color, not black like I had been seeing for the last 16 days The reason the tiger had been seeing black for the last 16 days was that tigers cannot see for the first 16 days of their life. I saw the green of the bushes and trees and red of the berries on the bushes outside our den, brown of our den, blue of the sky and then the golden yellow of a sun beam that settled on my mother’s kind and aged face. In the middle of this beautiful world me my sister and mother huddled in a ball not knowing what was going to happen or when. We were content as we were in this big jungle with dangers unknown and us barely anything in this world.

I learned later that my sister was named Laani and I was called Saranga (Sarana).


Chapter 1

More family stripes


All we really did the first few weeks of life was sleep and drink milk fro­­­­­­m mother. All I really remember in these few weeks was the feeling of warm milk in my mouth and drifting off to sleep with with a full belly.

One day though things happened a bit unusually. My sister Saranga and I were asleep and then I woke up because the warm body that had been beside me a little while ago had moved. I opened one eye dazed and then opened the other eye immediately. My mother was not next to me and instead of my mother there was a big huge muscled tiger that smelled somehow familiar even though I had never in my life seen any other tiger than me my sister and mother. This tiger was not lying down and cuddling like my mother usually would, this tiger was lurking around in the bushes. I was so afraid because never before had anything come near other than a bird when my mother was off hunting. I did not know what to do so I kicked my sister to get her awake. She got up with a few purrs but I shut her up quickly by telling her about the strange tiger in the bushes. Father tigers do not stay with the mother for the birth of the children, but leave to wander their teritory. I tried to show her the tiger but the tiger was gone and she thought it was all made up and that I had just seen an orange bird fly by and thought it was a tiger, but I knew the truth.

Later that morning when mom got back from hunting I told her about the big tiger. When I explained him she got a quick look of worry on her face but then her face turned back to normal and she said "Oh I think you were just imagining it because no other tigers ever come here". But I insisted that mom had to make a check around. After lunch of a young gazelle (which was delicious and tender) we set of to search for any evidence. Sure enough there was proof, excrement, scratches on a big tree and a unknown scent that was definitely tiger but not ours. Mom concluded that it must have been our father and that we should not be scared just aware.

He came every other day but stayed at a fair distance getting further each time he passed through.

I got use to the fact of our father being around but I was very intent on meeting him so one night when I was supposed to be asleep. I was thinking and made up my mind to go out and actually meet him. That morning when my mother was away hunting I told Saranga my idea. Saranga agreed and we started planning. We agreed that the best time to go was the next morning at dawn when mother would go hunting for us and our father would be arriving in a few minutes. So the when our mother came back from hunting we ate and went on normally but the truth was that all we could think about was the next morning and meeting our father. That night I could barely sleep but when we finally got to sleep I dreamed of my father and what he must be like.

In the morning I woke up to Saranga kicking me and I knew it was time to go. As I figured out later my mother had just left as I woke up and that no time had been lost since saranga had been up hours before me waiting for my mother to leave to hunt. We left for the meadow where he would enter our teritory (as well as his).

When we got there we hid in some bushes on the edge of the medow to hide and wait. It was good we got there so early because after a minute of hiding he emerged from the forest his big majestic body was walking across the field and for a second I forgot what we were doing and just was hypnotized but then I remembered what we were there for and I got out of my daydreaming impulse and started on our plan. We had decided that I would stay in the bushes and make sure it was a good time well saranga would come out of the bushes right infront of his path and pretend I was hurt. Then I would come out of the bushes pretending we were still playing and see our father and pretend to be afraid and run away from him well saranga would try to limp after me and not make it.

Article posted January 14, 2009 at 07:35 PM GMT0 • comment • Reads 313

Article posted January 6, 2009 at 08:55 PM GMT0 • comment (8) • Reads 417

I had the most outrageous winter break! It all happened during Christmas. The tree was 8 feet tall, so no one could get the star on the top. So I tried bouncing off the couch, but when I landed on the tree, it exploded, sending me, charred and blackened, into the kitchen.

When I came back my parents were both rocking on the ground, sucking their thumbs. It was for a good reason. From the rubble around the singed remnants of the tree, there appeared a beam of light. From that beam emerged a feathery-winged carrot named Hoog!! HE WAS STRANGE!!!!

Anyway, Hoog swooped into the kitchen and started wreaking havoc. I came in and he was gnawing on the box of Cheerios. I guess carrots like cardboard better than oats.

After that, Hoog zoomed back into the living room and started singing opera-style, ”I think that I shall never see a cardboard cereal box as lovely as the charred remnants of a tree.”

Then, before I could catch him, he broke into my leftover Halloween candy and ate 20 boxes of Smarties! As a result, Hoog got a major sugar rush and started zooming around the house at light speed.

After a couple seconds, Hoog went outside and grabbed an 8x8x8 block of snow and set it on the ground. He lured me outside by zipping by me and stealing my shirt, shoes, socks, and pants so I was in my underwear. I went outside to look for Hoog, and half a nanosecond later (Hoog was still really hyper), I had a mouthful of an 8x8x8 block of snow.

I began to think that I would have to live with an obnoxious carrot for the rest of my life. BUT HOOG MADE A FATAL MISTAKE. (MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!) When he dropped the snow on me, my puppy Finbar got some of the snow on him. And I know two things about Finbar:

1. Snow gets him wound up.

2. HE LIKES CARROTS. (Even flying ones)

So when Hoog was on the ground guffawing, Finbar jumped on top of Hoog and bit him several times before he escaped.

Actually, I did end up living with a carrot for the rest of my life. But at least after Hoog got bitten, he turned kind and considerate and was my butler for the rest of my life.

The end!!

Article posted January 6, 2009 at 08:55 PM GMT0 • comment (8) • Reads 417

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