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Can you ever say No!
Since I was a teen-ager and started to meet with the real world, I learnt to treat people equally, not to be judgmental, to carry people in my prayers, to put myself in others’ shoes and bottom line to become a good person. I always felt with others and listened to them. I also trained myself to love my enemies and forgive a lot. I never thought once of hearting anybody’s feelings nor let my friends down. That was really something that I’m proud of.
…I grew acquiring more skills and getting stuck to my paradigms. But I always felt uncomfortable with myself. Because I used to cater for others’ needs and demands neglecting my well being and squeezing out my energy and patience to the last drop.
In result, I never learnt to slow down, nor take it easy on myself. I actually had never said, “NO”, to anyone ever - though I really wanted to, so many times. Why? Because I always have considered it a natural reaction of empathy and caring. Well, I had maintained good relationships and my positive-attitude-account got more funds.
However, I realized, few years later, that I can’t go on like that. I’m who I’m and I’m happy with myself but I’m tired. Then, it’s about time to start using my “NO” when I have to. “No” to what exactly? Simply to say it out loud when I can’t take it anymore physically and mentally. I know that this might be Chinese to you. What’s she talking about? I’ll tell you.
If I can’t extend my 24 hours to keep every body around me (family, colleagues and friends) happy, it’s okay this is fact. I learnt that I should prioritize more and breathe more, for everything can wait and I need to relax. When I started doing so, I started enjoying my living better and give more. Nobody got harmed of my openness and honesty, on the contrary when I started verbalizing my No more to things I can’t do I got appreciated more.
I guess I always misinterpreted the concept of love. I can’t love the others if I don’t have mercy on myself. What do you think?
Article posted February 16, 2009 at 01:21 PM •
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You are echoing my thoughts. This is exactly the situation with me. I know that being there for others and lending a helping hand creates in me a feeling of satisfaction, but in most times, I end up having no time for me. You know, one of my good school/university friends died tragically last week in a car accident. Since last week, I have had a feeling of regret for all the times I apologized for not being able to make it for a gathering or a day out with my friends simply because I had a lot to do. I made a promise to myself that I will start paying more attention to my social life. The question is, Salwa, you started saying No, but will I be able to do?I know I should, but it won't be easy....
Comment Posted on February 21, 2009 at 02:47 PM by
You know Salwa saying "No" is a social skill for a well -balanced and happier life.
Also people who know how to set their priorities show a high level of Emotional Entelligence. They simply feel less pressured and less angry than those who say yes all the time.
Good Luck with your new self-discovery.
Comment Posted on February 19, 2009 at 07:02 AM by
About the Blogger
Hello there. I'm a Arabic T.A. I'm a mother of 3 boys. I love kids and enjoy spending time in their world. I appreciate Arts and cherish Music. Books are my hiding place and writing is what I long to whenever I have a minute free.
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