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My Weakest Paragraph

 


   This is my weakest paragraph. Can you please give me feed back.

We should always remember the tragedy of 9/11 ten years ago. During 9/11, lots of firemen, citizens and policemen died either saving other’s lives or doing their normal jobs. Throughout this experience, our country learned to always be aware of what’s around you. Therefore, whenever I cross the road, I need to be aware if there are any cars coming. Once I rode my bike into the street without looking and a car had to slam on their brakes to avoid hitting me. We should always remember 9/11 because of all the people that lost their lives and because it has taught us that we must be aware.  
Article posted October 28, 2011 at 08:36 PM • comment • Reads 51 • Return to Blog List
 
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