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We are a group of 7th graders from Colorado who want to practice our writing and communication skills. We are excited to expand the walls of our classroom and collaborate with other classes! Please leave us comments and your blog URL, so we can respond back to you!

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teacher: Mrs. Lubich

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Always Remember

 


    This is my second paragraph in my story. 


One reason it is imperative to continually recollect things is so that you will never forget them. I recall one time when I was getting my haircut and I moved when the lady was cutting my hair. I moved because I was in a store where you could play video games while you were getting your haircut. I was playing a racing game and I made a really hard turn so I turned my body too. The lady cut a huge chunk of my hair off. It was pretty embarrassing. I never forget that and I never will. That’s why it’s key to talk about our veterans; so we never forget them.

Give me feedback.

Article posted October 26, 2011 at 08:29 PM • comment (5) • Reads 100 • Return to Blog List
 
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Posted Comments

Very interesting. The paragraph was very good in the fact that it was detailed, it had good vocabulary, and that it was easy to read due to its enormous font size. but, there is one thing I don't understand. What kind of a hair salon was it?
Posted November 7, 2011 at 09:07 PM by • Rohan
Posted November 7, 2011 at 09:07 PM by • Rohan
How does talking about veterans help us remember and, what does it have to do with your paragraph? Also, why did you have to do it that big?
Posted November 3, 2011 at 04:30 PM by • AlexA
Posted November 3, 2011 at 04:30 PM by • AlexA
You used very detailed vocabulary. You may want to add a bit more to that paragraph just to add length to the story.
Posted October 30, 2011 at 02:52 PM by • Simeon
Posted October 30, 2011 at 02:52 PM by • Simeon
I'm sorry about the hair incident! It's a really nice paragraph! I totally agree with it...
Posted October 27, 2011 at 09:17 PM by • Mary
Posted October 27, 2011 at 09:17 PM by • Mary
I think you should talk about veterans more in your paragraph.
Posted October 27, 2011 at 04:52 PM by • MichaelW
Posted October 27, 2011 at 04:52 PM by • MichaelW

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I have size 9 feet and black hair.

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