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Darth Vader

by MEM

teacher: Mrs. B (Grade 4 2012-2013)

The Amazing Trap

The Amazing Trap

One day, my dad asked me to go down to the basement to get his tool box. When I got there, it was dark. I was about to turn on the light when I saw a pink nose and a long tail scurrying in a zigzag around the room. I flicked the light on. A rat! I’d never seen one before, I was kind of scared. I ran back upstairs.

The next day, my mom was scared but my dad wasn’t, so we went back down to the basement. All we put was a mouse trap, and it didn’t work. I decided to invent a trap. I put a dozen mouse traps beside my trap. My trap was a rope tied to cheese with a bug catching net and a wooden plank with metal sticking up from it. First, I put the wood then I balanced the net on the metal. My dad helped me with the dangerous things like drilling the metal into the wood. I wasn’t sure it was going to work so I took the mouse traps and surrounded my trap. At the front I formed a little entrance. I stood back and took a look. I felt tired but happy and hopeful at the same time. I left it there.

In the middle of the night I heard a snap, but I was too tired to get up and see what had happened. The next morning, I went back downstairs and the rat was caught! It had worked! I was amazed that my trap had worked. I ran back upstairs but this time yelling, “I caught it, I caught it, I caught it!” My dad and mom were relieved, and so was I.

Article posted October 25, 2011 at 04:49 AM • comment (8) • Reads 1010 • Return to Blog List

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Posted Comments

I am impressed with myself!

(I am, too. Mrs. B)
Comment Posted on September 12, 2012 at 01:30 AM by Roy

Wonderful writing, Roy, I love the part when you were making the trap and when you yelled that you caught the rat and it was a little funny too.

from Yasmin in 3A
Comment Posted on November 26, 2011 at 07:41 AM by yasmin

Awesome write. I love your book.
Comment Posted on November 25, 2011 at 12:01 AM by AEZ

I loved working on this story with you. I liked the way that you thought so carefully about your verbs and other words so that your story would be interesting for your reader.
Comment Posted on November 22, 2011 at 12:34 PM by Mrs. K

This was a very interesting story, I love how much feeling you put into it! Well done!
Comment Posted on November 22, 2011 at 03:54 AM by SG

I like your story a lot.
Comment Posted on November 21, 2011 at 04:41 AM by JG

I loved your story! I expecially like the way you used descriptive words. When you told me how you felt I could almost feel the same feelings you had. Another thing I liked aboutyour story was that it was suspenseful. I didn't know how the story would end. Thanks for sharing your story with me.
Comment Posted on November 17, 2011 at 12:56 AM by Ms Hite

This is a very interesting and inventive story.
I loved it. If I ever have any kind of bug or rat in my house again I will call on RG to invent a trap for me.
Well done. Love mum
Comment Posted on November 16, 2011 at 01:47 PM by Yasmine Ghandour

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