SpencerS -- Blogmeister

ASU Fear the Fork

We are a group of 7th graders from Colorado who want to practice our writing and communication skills. We are excited to expand the walls of our classroom and collaborate with other classes! Please leave us comments and your blog URL, so we can respond back to you!

by SpencerS

teacher: Mrs. Lubich

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Intro Paragraph

As humans their are some very important things we need to remember. A good example is breathing. Another is the men and women who fight for our freedom. What are some things you need to remember?

Okay so that was my intro paragraph hope you liked it. Please comment on how I can improve!

Article posted October 24, 2011 at 08:59 PM • comment (4) • Reads 1743 • Return to Blog List

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Oh wow I didn't even notice that Colin! Haha thanks. As well thank you Alex it is kinda short huh? Thanks Evan! Well thanks to all of you guys!
Comment Posted on November 6, 2011 at 09:44 PM by AshleyW

Its a little short.
Comment Posted on November 1, 2011 at 09:20 PM by AlexS

First, you used the wrong form of "there". You used the possessive form of “there” and should use there. I would make your paragraph a bit longer and add a bit more detail. I hope I don’t sound too bossy.
Comment Posted on October 30, 2011 at 05:24 PM by ColinWe

I like it!!!
Comment Posted on October 26, 2011 at 06:18 PM by Evan

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I like to play football.

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