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Intro Paragraph

  As humans their are some very important things we need to remember. A good example is breathing. Another is the men and women who fight for our freedom. What are some things you need to remember?


 Okay so that was my intro paragraph hope you liked it. Please comment on how I can improve!

Article posted October 24, 2011 at 08:59 PM • comment (4) • Reads 50 • Return to Blog List
 
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Posted Comments

Oh wow I didn't even notice that Colin! Haha thanks. As well thank you Alex it is kinda short huh? Thanks Evan! Well thanks to all of you guys!
Posted November 6, 2011 at 09:44 PM by • AshleyW
Posted November 6, 2011 at 09:44 PM by • AshleyW
Its a little short.
Posted November 1, 2011 at 09:20 PM by • AlexS
Posted November 1, 2011 at 09:20 PM by • AlexS
First, you used the wrong form of "there". You used the possessive form of “there” and should use there. I would make your paragraph a bit longer and add a bit more detail. I hope I don’t sound too bossy.
Posted October 30, 2011 at 05:24 PM by • ColinWe
Posted October 30, 2011 at 05:24 PM by • ColinWe
I like it!!!
Posted October 26, 2011 at 06:18 PM by • Evan
Posted October 26, 2011 at 06:18 PM by • Evan
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