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Once there was a boy, and he loved football. He loved to play football, he loved to watch football, and he loved to talk about football. He even had his own team on fantasy football. His name was Tim. Tim was a pretty cool guy. He had many friends. Did very well in school. And was a great athlete.
Article posted October 7, 2011 at 08:58 AM •
comment (3) • Reads 958
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I like that you talked about something that you liked. Also, think about a last name.
Comment Posted on October 7, 2011 at 09:12 AM by
Great first chapter! I loved how you told about him because you need to know what is happening with the person before you start the real story. The only thing I can think of to be better is that I think the audience needs to know what position he plays
Comment Posted on October 7, 2011 at 09:11 AM by
Hey! I think that your book has a great beginning. I think that the beginning is just a little bit repetitive. Other wise it was great!
Comment Posted on October 7, 2011 at 09:08 AM by