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Bloody Stairs; A Personal Narrative
“Bammm!” My face smacks into the rock and red liquid flies in the air. It’s my blood! My lip is hurting and blood squirts all over my body.
It happened 2005 on a summer rainy day, it was perfect morning, I was having a nice brunch it was toast with peanut gem at home watching cartoon. Its taste and smell was wonderful.
“Mom, where is sister and father?”I asked.
“Your sister went to play with friend and your father went to work. Why?” she asked.
But, I did not reply her question. I was getting bored. I sat in front of the T.V and turned it on, there was only news!!!”No more programs for kid “I told myself. It was 5th day since I had moved to new house in Korea. I had no friends where I lived before, I was too young. I was bored, so I played with my fish and games.
Then suddenly a light bulb came out of my head. I had a plan. “I’m going to play soccer outside the field,”I said to my mom. I got my soccer kit and ball, and off I went. I was outside the house, and I thought I should take a shortcut. The short cut appeared it was a rock stair.
It had started raining, but rain can’t stop a boy! I started to go up the stairs. Then suddenly I tripped over.”Baaaam” I smacked into the stone step with my face. My mouth hit the edge. Blood oozed out of my lip! It floated like the Amazon River.
Then suddenly somebody appeared it was my sister.
“Man, did you dye your-self red?”Sister yelled at the poor boy, me. Then she took me to home. I learned that we should never go out the house on rainy day.
Article posted November 11, 2009 at 02:14 AM •
comment (2) • Reads 360
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Great story! I'm glad you're sister was there to help you in the end, and I hope you eventually got to play soccer on a clear day. Although, you might want to try using adjectives when writing, to help explain to the readers whose mom or sister you are talking about. For example, try saying: MY mom, or MY sister when you are discussing them.
Comment Posted on December 20, 2009 at 08:55 AM by
Nice narrative. Good mix of dialogue and narration. I liked how it began.
Comment Posted on December 19, 2009 at 07:50 AM by
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